Today I have been e-mailing with random CL guys. Some of them are more promising than others, but that’s not saying much. This is why I’ve been reluctant to talk to them. We have exchanges like this one:
Him: I live at X corner.
Me: Oh, the Corner of Sketch. I know where that is.
Him: What does “Corner of Sketch” mean?
Me: *headdesk*
Note that he probably comes off smarter in that exchange than he does over e-mail because I am paraphrasing and thus using punctuation. But, I mean, is “corner of sketch” really that difficult a phrase?
Talking to these guys also subjects me to high crimes against English, like this: “I’m nicely hung too I guess I should mentiuon but I guess knowing how to move thetool is also very important don’t you think and I’ve been told I have good hands by the massages i’ve given to past girlfriends and also my cousin said your everything a woman wants.”
Ow. Ow! Seriously, it hurts my brain. I’m reasonably sure that calls for a, “but what are your thoughts on yaoi?” I may be the only person in the world who thinks that’s funny, but much of the point of this is to amuse myself. I thought I was legitimately searching for something beyond a laugh, but now I’m not so sure.
Anyway. Then there is the guy who must think I have nothing to do but e-mail him all day. He just sent me a note to let me know that he is going to be away from his desk for an hour, in case I write and don’t hear back instantly. It’s strange, really, that I’ve had so much frustration in the past with people who don’t show enough interest, and yet the second someone does show interest, I feel the urge to back away slowly. Although I suppose it’s more a matter of interest vs. desperation. Panting after someone after exchanging all of two e-mails? Is a little on the desperate side, folks.
I’m also torn about the guys who respond to every single one of my ads. I never post the same thing. Half the time I don’t even say I’m from the same place. Some of these guys send a relevant note each time; some just send the same thing. My favorite of those is the guy who is somehow always coming in from a refreshing walk through the neighboring forest preserve, and he is always very happy and excited to have seen a coyote. Coincidence? Or LIES? I know where I’d put my money.
There is another guy who responds with something different and relevant and interesting every time, but I haven’t written back because he’s 22. I’m 27, and reluctant to get involved with someone so young. God knows I was an idiot at 22. (If we were both ten years older, I don’t think I’d care so much.) So I just ignore him and feel vaguely guilty.
On the other hand, there is something off-putting about getting e-mail from the same guy every time I post. It makes me wonder if he e-mails EVERYONE who posts (not attractive), or somehow has just honed in on my posts (strangely intriguing).
This is exhausting. Distracting, though, which is possibly what I need right now. Who knows. Not I, not I.
